Tag: Sexual offences -

Functioning on a daily basis with a sexual offences order

I hear so many stories about the difficulties that people encounter trying to live with Sexual Offences Prevention Orders (SOPO’s) or Sexual Harm Prevention Orders (SHPO’s). If you’ve just been given a SOPO/SHPO and are struggling to see how you’re ever going to be able to live a normal life again, then here are some of my own experiences and opinions.

As you can probably tell from the above, I was convicted of a sexual offence and as part of my sentence, I was given a SOPO (as they were known then). It was ridiculously wordy and repetitive and I’m pretty sure it had some unlawful elements too. But, here’s how I dealt with it.

Employment

My employment background has been heavily tech based (Cisco networking, Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer) and within senior management. Whilst I was on licence, following my release from prison, my Probation Officer forced me to disclose my conviction to any potential employer prior to accepting a position with them (even when they’d never asked me about my criminal record). I was offered two senior positions but immediately I disclosed well, – go figure – offer revoked. It was a really difficult time.

I came off licence about a month ago and guess what, I start a senior position this week. I haven’t disclosed by conviction, because as per both employment law and disclosure law, if you aren’t asked, you don’t need to tell. Many employers I’ve come across haven’t asked me the question but I know that many do. Remember if you’re asked about your unspent convictions then you must disclose. If your employer does find out then you’ll probably going to be instantly dismissed with no comeback.

I’m not sure whether I’ve just been lucky but my Public Protection Unit Officer has been great (I know other’s experiences are very different). He didn’t agree with my Probation Officer’s view about forced disclosure as he didn’t believe that my conviction was relevant to my work. He also made the point to me that gainful employment is a factor in reducing the risk of re-offending.

The Google Effect

The best advice I can give is to change your name. I believe there’s every chance that people will ‘Google’ you, if only out of curiosity. I changed my name to coincide with the end of my Licence. Anybody can do it and there’s no cost involved if you do your own Deed Poll (its much easier than it sounds). Of course, you’ll have to inform the Police (as part of the Sex Offenders Notification scheme) within three days and remember to also change the name on your bank account/utility bills/driving licence – the works.

SOPO/SHPO conditions

One of the conditions of my SOPO was ‘not to delete internet history and make it available to the police’. This really didn’t bother me at all. At the end of the day, if you aren’t doing anything wrong then you’ve nothing to worry about. The police told me that they will only wish to have a look at my computer if they had good cause to do so. Well, my history is completely clean. I’ve been out of prison for 22 months now and no one has every asked to see my history.

Travel

If you’re not on licence and have no travel banning orders then you can go anywhere you want, for as long as you want – well except those countries that require you to have visa’s (the USA for example). Remember to notify the police of when you’re going and where.

The police may choose to notify border control of your travel plans and you may get ‘questioned’ by border control but that’s life I’m afraid. Just go and enjoy yourself.

New relationships

I was told that disclosure only applied to me if the lady I was involved with had children or may have children staying or visiting her. Lets be clear though. If you hide a relationship with somebody who has children/grandchildren, even if they’re just visiting, then you’ll be in serious bother.

If you explain all the facts to your new partner then its not a foregone conclusion that they will run a mile (although they might!!). You should be mindful that the police/social services may wish to conduct a risk assessment as to your risk and also your partner’s ability to protect their children from harm.

Many people simply avoid getting into a new relationship until they come off the Sex Offender Register even if it’s for 3, 5 or 7 years – that’s a decision only you can make.

Friends

You may have to start completely from scratch on this one. You may have friends who’ll stick by you, who are understanding and supportive. However, they may have friends who take a completely different view. If your friends have kids then spending an afternoon and evening at a barbeque can be difficult when you have to notify the police if you’re spending 12 hours in the home where there is an under-18 present.

Don’t be worried about making new friends – how and where you meet them will depend on your age and interests. Just remember to choose your friends carefully.

Things won’t always be plain sailing and can often be quite daunting but the future is achievable. Maybe not the kind you’re used to nor ideally what you want but it’s there.

Don’t let 1% of your life define the remaining 99%.

By Alex (name changed to protect identity)

Useful links

Comment – Let us know your thoughts on this post by commenting below
Information – We have practical self-help information on convictions for sexual offences on our information hub.

New Life, New Business – New Problems

Ten years ago I received a conviction for a sexual offence. I can’t tell you how hard it is for me to say that, I am still filled with feelings of disgust and utterly ashamed at what I did. At the time, my life was out of control, don’t get me wrong I’m not making excuses, I shouldn’t have done what I did. I pleaded guilty and I received a custodial sentence.

I’m not one of those people who constantly whinge and feels sorry for myself. I don’t blame ‘the world and his wife’ for what’s happened to me. We all make our own choices and I have to live with mine.

All things considered, I think I’m doing OK. Yes it was hard when I first came out of prison just coming to terms with what I had done and what had happened to me. Prison was certainly never on my list of ‘places to visit before I die’. I did everything that my probation officer asked of me and I am always totally up front and honest with my PPU officer. I don’t consider myself a risk. I’m not going to reoffend and I have nothing to hide. Being a very private person, I initially found questions from the PPU officer quite intrusive but I realised very early on that she was only doing her job. I had allowed myself to be in this position by offending but if I co-operated with her, then hopefully in time, she would be prepared to put more trust in me. That’s exactly what happened. She appreciated my openness and honesty and has always been extremely helpful and supportive.

I met a lovely lady approximately 4 years ago and I disclosed my conviction to her (as I was told to do). I think she was surprised and I am sure there must have been moments when she wondered whether a relationship with me was worth the effort (although she never voiced this to me). We set up home together and made the ultimate commitment – we got a dog.

Like anybody with my sort of conviction getting work has been difficult. Many times my application was never acknowledged even though I knew I had the necessary skills and experience. On other occasions when I disclosed at interview I could see the look of disgust on a manager’s face. I just kept on trying and applied for everything I could and eventually I managed to secure a job. I worked hard, got promoted and then got head-hunted by a competitor.

As my relationship with my partner developed, we made the decision to move house and set up a business together. We wanted to spend more time together and I wanted to move away from the high-pressured, stressful environment that I was working in.

Our new business needed insurance and as I had pretty much put my conviction behind me taking out a commercial insurance policy did not worry me unduly. Oh dear – how wrong I was. Unlike personal insurance, I was duty bound to disclose my conviction as a ‘material fact’. I rang a couple of companies advertising on the internet but didn’t even get the chance to explain the nature of my conviction, the minute I answered yes to the ‘have you got any criminal convictions’ question they told me they could not help. In desperation I turned to the Unlock website – excellent there were brokers who stated that they insured people with my type of conviction. I rang the first one and had to disclose the nature of my offence, when it occurred and the sentence I received. I had achieved so much over the last few years that I had forgotten what it felt like to disclose but that sense of shame and humiliation came flooding back. The broker was great, I guess he’s heard it all before. He said he would ring around and come back to me with the best quote. He did come back to me and told me that although as a broker he had no issue with the nature of my conviction, but due to the fact that I was looking for commercial insurance, he could not find anybody to underwrite the policy.

I rang two more brokers on the Unlock list and got the same answer. They all said that if I had wanted personal insurance they would have no problem sourcing something but commercial insurance was a big ‘no’. For the first time in a very long time, I was reminded of those early days when rejection was a regular occurrence. It was like being on trial all over again. I could see my plans for the new business and future with my wonderful partner just slipping away. Worst of all, it felt like my partner was being punished for my convictions.

Further searches on the internet and many phone calls later and I managed to find somebody willing to insure me. I know that I am paying 3 times more than somebody without a conviction which is not great and an expense that a new business could well do without. However, astonishingly I have only just realised that whatever I have done since leaving prison and whatever I achieve in the future, I am never truly going to be free from my conviction. I have always been able to remain positive, I have never felt sorry for myself and I have never shouted about ‘discrimination’ but I have been really shocked that my conviction should have such a massive impact on purchasing an insurance policy.

I understand why employers need to know about my past, I have accepted that I needed to disclose to my new partner and her family but I fail to see how my conviction has any bearing on a commercial insurance policy.

I am determined not to become bitter about this. If nothing else, it has just given me even more motivation to make a success of my business and provide for my new family.

Public interest, private curiosity and the right to be forgotten

by Andy

I was convicted of a number of internet sex offences in 2010. My case appeared in the local newspaper twice: at committal and the sentencing hearing.

A few days after I was charged my half-sister – Anne – whom I had only met once only a year before – died. Someone found my address on a piece of paper at her house and her solicitor contacted me to give me the funeral arrangements. This was a strange situation for me (and my wife) and left us with a dilemma. Because of the charges I would be facing in court, would it be right, in the circumstances, to attend her funeral, or should I stay away? We decided that, in spite of the fact that I only knew her from a very pleasant day we had with her at her home, it was really important that we should attend.

We had a good day. Her friends were interested to meet us and gave a sympathetic hearing to my story about the way my dad ran off from his wife, setting up with my mother a few years later. By the end of the day, I felt we had made some new friends. She had died intestate and I inherited her estate (another, though less important reason for attending the funeral…’He got all her money and he never even came to the funeral!’). So I had to return to Scotland to clear the house and tie up some legal stuff.

Two of her good friends lived up her street and shortly after we arrived, one came to the door. I expected a few friendly words and perhaps an offer of help. Instead, I was confronted with the statement: ‘People up here know about you’. Apparently, someone had Googled the news item about my committal hearing which, by then, had happened. When we got home, we had an email from someone we met at the funeral who described herself as ‘Anne’s best friend’, berating me for the evil person I was, with the inference that my wife, by supporting me, was as bad.

That was an early lesson about how damning these stories can be. Since then I can think of at least two other occasions when my inclusion in the paper has had an effect on my life. One was the inability to get house insurance (‘Was your case in the paper?’) and, on another occasion, its use to ‘out’ me when I was a member of an adult drama group. The group knew of my convictions and welcomed my participation but, as it turned out, did not possess the courage to allow me to remain a member after the URL of the story about me was circulated on Facebook.

All that said, I know I have been lucky. In lots of ways, my life is the same: my wife stuck with me, my daughters have forgiven me, most people I know are supportive and, luckily, I had retired from work before this all blew up. But there have been several situations where I have given my name to someone I have just met and gone on to think: ‘I wonder if they’ll look me up?’

I like the idea of freedom of the press/information too, but does what has happened to me truly show the value and importance of this? Is the ability of anyone and everyone to look me up on the web a matter of public interest, or merely something of interest to some of the public?

Finally, a lot of people seem to think that having this stuff online protects the public in some way. In the sex offenders’ programme I attended, only 2 or 3 of us out of 12 had had our names in the paper, and one of those said how relieved he was that he had the same name as a film director so he was well down a Google list. I guess that, except for the most heinous of offences inclusion in the local newspaper depends on arbitrary factors such as how much news there is on that particular day, rather than an obligation to include all convictions. To look to search engines in the belief that they will dig out all wrongdoers etc. is a dangerous illusion.

For what it is worth, I cannot see that I should not have the right to be forgotten after my five years on the Sex Offenders’ Register is complete.

Tag: Sexual offences -

Functioning on a daily basis with a sexual offences order

New Life, New Business – New Problems

Public interest, private curiosity and the right to be forgotten

We want to make sure that our website is as helpful as possible.

Thank you for your feedback.

12.5 million people have criminal records in the UK. We need your help to help them.